23 Cat Tweets to Tell Your Cat He's a Cutie Patootie Little Creature

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  • 01
    ashlyne @ashlyne asked my roommate for an update on my cat tofu and she sent me this fo
  • 02
    strwbrrypulp 7h hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee
  • 03
    Dave Wagner @Dbwagner104 my cat has no responsibilities, but all day he walks around the house from room to room with this utter sense of purpose, as if he has an endless to-do list of tasks no one asked for. just this weird small furry dude going about his little cat errands.
  • 04
    yourshadowtwin People laugh about how cats love boxes, but if there was suddenly a box bigger than you in your living room, you'd probably go in it too.
  • 05
    Serena Golden @SerenaEGolden every single person who owns two cats has one beautiful idiot and one terrifying demon plotting a coup
  • 06
    james @videojames_ my cat with a $20 toy: no thanks > my cat with the mcdonald's straw i dropped on the floor: u are my vice. my muse. my soulmate
  • 07
    memes i wish i could tag my cat in @memesiwish you ever just hand things to your cat to sniff so they can feel included
  • 08
    Ben Passmore @DAYGLOAYHOLE the fact i gotta train 3-5 days a week to keep my body at “moderately broken" while my cat sleep all day and can do parkour with ease is a crime.
  • 09
    sofie @sofieisalive me to my cat every day: good morning bingus! are ut boo boo baby? the biggest boy of the world?? bingum of the year? my baby spingum.. my bing bong boonga my cat: what is my name
  • 10
    Haus of Decline @hausofdecline Dogs are cool because they're like a little dude with 10 IQ points. Cats are cool because you feel as if you've brokered a contract with a minor demon. www
  • 11
    malfxoys so today a public health official guy came into my class to give a lecture on disaster awareness and he was talking about house fires and mentioned that the reason people most likely die during a house fire is because they refuse to leave their pet inside or they go back to get their pet. and right when he said this my friend immediately turned his head and looked at me and in that moment I had the most complete and genuine acceptance take over my body. I would 100% in front of my famil
  • 12
    The Song of the MARC @marccold ME: whose dog are you DOG: I'M YOUR DOG I'M YOUR DOG YES YES YES TWIRL TWIRL ME: whose cat are you CAT: Possession is a solipsistic paradigm, Vivian. However, if I were to define myself as belonging to anyone, it would be myself. In this essay, I will DON'T TOUCH MY STOMACH
  • 13
    bunny girl @hleneeh someone said cats are a lesson in consent and so many controlling people hate cats because they can't control them and i haven't stopped thinking about it since
  • 14
    geeky steven @geekysteven Pets are a weird concept. Like you made a house that keeps all the creatures out and then you're like "nah, needs some creatures in it"
  • 15
    A fun part of having a black cat is occasionally accidentally talking to a crumpled up black T-shirt on the floor
  • 16
    the moon's wife @bookishseawitch cats have the right idea: wake up and scream your little face off until the world gives you what you need
  • 17
    Yi Shun Lai (賴儀遜) @gooddirt On last night's @JetBlue flight, ONT-JFK: "Is anyone missing a CAT. A grey-and-white CAT." Yes I woke up for this. 13 412 EXIT SALIDA
  • 18
    M. E. Gallegos @tolaughortolove I made the mistake of meeting one of my cat's demands and now he has more.
  • 19
    Bo Bolander @BBolander the old cat's hate for the kitten is more understandable if you imagine you're an 87-year old lady creeping steadily down the hall to the kitchen, hurrycane at the ready, when suddenly from stage left a brawny 25-year old dude runs in & cheerfully bam margeras you to the floor
  • 20
    pet rent is the stupidest concept i've ever heard of how do you expect my cat to pay $50 a month she is unemployed
  • 21
    Silver Tooth Kid @JenniferRoseNYC I would never hurt my cat...but sometimes...I wish I was a cat so we could square up.
  • 22
    shannon @shannoncooperox My 10 year old neighbour just threw a cup of water over my cat who was sitting on the fence minding his own business n laughed so I threw a basin of water over him from the window and now his dad is at my door going mental but I don't see the problem, don't touch my cat
  • 23
    Oh to be a house cat and simply slap the s t out of anything in front of me that I do not understand

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